A RONDO FOR HIS CONDO!!!!

by on Mar.22, 2011, under Horror Show Hosts

CITIZEN SARCOFIGUY
Article by Connie Whang-Chung
I’m here in downtown Washington, DC at the spacious campaign headquarters of Doctor W.E.B Sarcofiguy.  There’s a flurry of activity everywhere, from young, nubile volunteers answering phones, to Dr. Sarcofiguy himself shaking hands, and kissing babies. . .a charge that he was earlier exonerated of by Circuit Court Judge Henry Plimpton.
I’ve interrupted Dr. Sarcofiguy from his busy schedule for a brief one on one about his campaign bid for the prestigious RONDO AWARD.
THE CONNIE WHANG-CHUNG/SARCOFIGUY INTERVIEW
WHANG-CHUNG:  Doctor Sarcofiguy, thank you for taking the time to sit with me. 
DOCTOR S.:  It’s my pleasure, Ms. Whang-Chung!  When they told me I was gonna be interviewed by Whang-Chung tonight, I KNEW I was gonna have FUN tonight, yesssss!
WHANG-CHUNG:  So, Doctor, you’re campaigning for the Rondo Award for Favorite Horror Host!
DOCTOR S.:   Yesss!
WHANG-CHUNG:  What’s your platform?
DOCTOR S.:  Why, it’s flat, and I’M STANDING ON IT!
WHANG-CHUNG:  It’s mahogany, I see!
DOCTOR S.:  Oh, yes!  Nothing but the best!
WHANG-CHUNG:  Let me ask you. . .how will you stimulate the economy?
DOCTOR S.:  By talkin’ suggestively about Wall Street!   To wit:   “Hey, Mr. Stockbroker!  When you’re trading, do you like it rough?”  Or, “Hey, Dow Jones!  Let me fumble with your points!  I promise I can make your stock rise, for sure!”
WHANG-CHUNG:  Sounds good!  How about the National Deficit?
DOCTOR S.:  I dunno, but “National Deficit” sounds like a great name for a ball team!  Or a boy band!  Wait—ball team.  Boy band.  Ohhhh, I’ll figure it out later!
WHANG-CHUNG:  What are you views on abortion?
DOCTOR S.:  Well, I’m kinda biased, seeing as I was the issue of an inhuman host with remarkable table manners!
WHANG-CHUNG:  I see.  And for my final question:  Where do you see yourself in five years?
DOCTOR S.:  Whatameye?!  A goddamned CLAIRVOYANT?!  I never liked that question on job interviews, and I’m damned if I’m gonna answer it now!
WHANG-CHUNG:  Thank you!
THIS CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO ABUSE EXECUTIVE WASHROOMS.
ALL ADDITIONAL PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED TO THE PROMOTION OF TOOTH DECAY.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: 
“A BIG SMILE, MEANS A BIG MOUTH!”
“I APPROVE THIS!!!!”
NOW, VOTE YOUR CONSCIENCE WHILE YOU’RE CONCIOUS: 
click here for THE RONDO AWARDS!!!!

Site Representation Request

If you have a relevant website and wish to be represented on Ghoularama.com, please send a link to your site with a brief description and be sure to include a note granting permission to include your content. Send requests to netherworldnetwork[at]comcast[dot]net with the subject line "content feed permission" and we will be happy to consider adding your site to our family of associated websites.

Information Content Disclaimer

The views and opinions stated in any and all of the articles represented on this site are solely those of the contributing author or authors, and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Ghoularama.com, The Netherworld Network, its parent company or any affiliated companies, or any individual, groups, or companies mentioned in articles on this site.