BEAUTY BEYOND THE PALE or "Heroic Albinos That I’ve Loved!"

by on Mar.22, 2011, under Horror Show Hosts

I hate the term albino, really.  Nowadays it emphasizes the overimportance of having a skin tone.  I’m BEIN’ SERIOUS!  

People, let me tell you, when it comes to color?  There is so much prismatic diversity within the Spectral Crayola Categorical Continuum, that just calling somebody “white” or “black” is ridiculous, and just plain old LAZY!

What I want y’all ta do is buy yourself a swatch book from your local hardware store, and I want you to learn a few more color descriptions!  Fer instance, I’m NOT BLACK!  I’m more a burnt sienna, or a honey cocoa!  That’s right!  And ALBINOS aren’t really opaque, or devoid of color.   I refer to them as salt toned!  Sometime I’ve been known to use the term, POWDER, like my favorite movie character.

But my favorite descriptions for an albino’s tones would be Alabaster, Snowy, or MARBLE, yeaaah.

I’ve already illustrated how desperately I wanted folks to produce a Sandman movie!  I’ve got the perfect star:

BEN WISHAW.  Oh, he was totally fantastic in one of my favorite books turned to film, PERFUME:  The Story of a Murderer, which was written by Patrick Suskind. 

As you can see, my alter-ego has manipulated a few images just to prove my point on how perfect he’d be for the role.  FUNKY, HUH?!

And then there’s my other favorite Marble toned hero that I think should get the Hollywood movie treatment!   ELRIC of Melnibone’!  The journey of Elric is a wonderful blend of sword and sorcery, better even than CONAN the barbarian, I say! 

I got him cast already!  Somebody Edgar Winter-like, but not so damned old to play the part!  I was thinkin’ Leornardo Di Caprio at first!  Then I saw this guy:
This Marble fashion model could do the trick, I TELL YOU!  Well, I don’t know if’n he can act, 
BUT I’M DESPERATE!!!!!
OH, IF ONLY FOLKS WOULD LISTEN TA ME FOR A CHANGE!!!!

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